The Accidental Text Message

* Nakaka-awkward kasi. Ayaw ko ma misiterpret mo friendship natin. *

At least now I can breathe more easily. I may have hurt someone's feelings again, made too much of nothing and made a spectacle of myself for the nth time, but there's a relief that everything's in black and white. No expectations, no assumptions, no second-guessing.

I was running out of excuses not to answer his calls. I was getting tired of reviewing my replies to his text messages to see if anything in it might be misread. I was getting tired of being sarcastic during conversations because he might take it as interest.

I knew it was coming to that when he started being "makulet" (a pest) last Saturday, aasking so many questions of my what, whos and whereabouts. An accidental phone call from my un-locked mobile to his, his reaction to that (para akong T.A.N.G.A [I felt stupid]), and his unanswered call the next morning.

It's quite funny how accidents work themselves out. I didn't mean to send that text message as it was still raw and sounded too harsh. But once it was sent, I knew it was time to face it and speak my mind.

For whatever it was worth, he took it better than I expected. At least, that's what I want to believe. But no matter what he says about not expecting anything, I am certain things have changed as attested to by this morning's event.