Little christmas tree

Little christmas tree...
Oh tanenbaum, o tanenbaum...

Hehe. Having too much time (and tissue rolls?) on our hands, Jing and I decided to have a "recycled" Christmas. So, instead of buying a christmas tree, I made one from the cylindrical cardboards in tissue rolls. Covered them with green foil, stuffed them with more shredded green foil and glued them together. A little drunken gold foil star adds height and more glitter. Little snow flakes punched from paper and some gift-wrapped boxes completes the display. Hehehe.

While I sigh in dismay over my lack of any artistic merits, some of my colleagues actually found the little lopsided tree cute.

...coming up next, the golden UFOs

Fontana Pics

Iyos, Con2 and I were invited to tag along at Myke's despedida de soltera at Fontana, Subic last 25-26 November 2006. Let me just share some photos...

Myke and me, after the program. Both pretty in pink.

Clowning around with the Iyos, Con and Myke.

(PS: The pics were the reason for the "accident")

The Accidental Text Message

* Nakaka-awkward kasi. Ayaw ko ma misiterpret mo friendship natin. *

At least now I can breathe more easily. I may have hurt someone's feelings again, made too much of nothing and made a spectacle of myself for the nth time, but there's a relief that everything's in black and white. No expectations, no assumptions, no second-guessing.

I was running out of excuses not to answer his calls. I was getting tired of reviewing my replies to his text messages to see if anything in it might be misread. I was getting tired of being sarcastic during conversations because he might take it as interest.

I knew it was coming to that when he started being "makulet" (a pest) last Saturday, aasking so many questions of my what, whos and whereabouts. An accidental phone call from my un-locked mobile to his, his reaction to that (para akong T.A.N.G.A [I felt stupid]), and his unanswered call the next morning.

It's quite funny how accidents work themselves out. I didn't mean to send that text message as it was still raw and sounded too harsh. But once it was sent, I knew it was time to face it and speak my mind.

For whatever it was worth, he took it better than I expected. At least, that's what I want to believe. But no matter what he says about not expecting anything, I am certain things have changed as attested to by this morning's event.

Obssession

The more I "have" of you, the more I need to have more. Insatiable I guess. The cycle goes on viciously. Like an addiction I don't want to cure myself of. I am helpless against your seduction. Blind to all else but the attraction. I want more.

Drats. Kelan ba susunod na tiangge. I need new shoes. ^^ Someone commented during rehearsals that I probably have three thousand shoes. Shooo! Well, that's one fantasy in life, and I'm not even halfway there. The mere mention of shoes makes me wanna go out and check for new styles.

Senti

I don't know why but I'm not feeling specially perky today...hmm, parang ang sarap mag emote emote.

I ended up reading back issues of Fug Yourself. Then skipped and read my blog's archives. Yay, ang senti ko talaga. I managed to go over the first two months and here are some of my favorites:

*But the gloom of goodbye sometimes eclipses the sunshine of new beginnings. *

* I wonder what my dream meant. I've always believed dreams tell us something, a past unforgotten, a present unresolved and a future awaiting...The fact that it was so vivid excites me. *

* i was wrong
about so many things
about him
about us
it was all a joke
a dream at its best
now i close my eyes
and my doors
and wake from this
sleep *

Argh. What's happening to me? Birthday blues coming three weeks early???

In Defense of Myself

So I blow hot one minute, and cold the other, they may say. I beg to disagree.

Let me get this straight. I'm not playing games. It's not okay with me that he's sending me "feelers". I think he's mistaken my chattiness, my being talkative with some sort of interest, or receptiveness. It's not. If he talks to me, should I stay quiet? Not answer his questions? Try not to laugh at the jokes he seem to so painstakingly collect?

I can't tell him directly that he's not my idea of Mr. Right, because he's not courting me (yet) but I want to nip whatever's next in the bud before IT blossoms into something monstrous and scary. Already, his text messages are getting scary, and I always hate it when they begin to ask me personal questions, what I'm currently doing, my whereabouts, so and so. Who are you, my mother?? I've already told him that the reason I don't reply to his text messages and won't receive his calls is because I am uneasy with them and I don't know how to react.

I don't want to be labeled mayabang, or feeling maganda or whatever. Although it's okay to admire people, and I do sometimes enjoy the bit of attention, but I don't want to be selfish and encourage them (ehem, plenty ba? hahaha) when I have nothing to offer but friendship. And so, hard as it may be, at the slightest innuendo of feeling, I say my harsh no (there's no "break it to me gently", broken is broken, it always hurt). I, too, hurt sometimes, because it also mean losing a friend. But I'd rather lay my cards on the table than be called a flirt , or worse, a tease.

Now, when I've said my piece, and they go on with their little dramas, then it's not my fault anymore. As MSG said, he's happy he's said his feelings, heartbroken afterwards, but grateful for the friendship that I give. Whatever response now to his messages that I send, at least he knows the bounderies.

As for the latest victim, another person to stay away from. More text messages to ignore. Sigh...I'm changing my number soon.

Whoa!

Whoa!!!!! Finally! Hallelujah!

Our last subject ended last yesterday. So now, we're dreading, nay, looking forward to the comprehensive exams next year.

Will I finally have enough time for more activities? Formally learn Korean, perhaps? Return to SGS music ministry? A return trip to Korea with a side trip somewhere else? Finally a love life? Nyahahaha.

Pardon for the blabbing, but finding myself suddenly with nothing to do but attend a despedida de soltera, a concert, one Christmas party after another and choir rehearsals, I'm in shock. Suddenly, I seem to have so many free time. I've almost completed my Christmas shopping, so now, the weekends loom empty before me.

Anyways, received also good news that chingu Louise and another friend will be visiting the Philippines in mid January for a biz trip. They'll be extending their stay for two days of tourism. Where to take them...hmmm. Any suggestions?

Guilty and Jumbo

Guilty again?

I refuse to give in to that guilty feeling. Though I may have had an inkling that this could happen, I am never an "assumptionist" to think that just because some guy talks to me means he's head over heels in love with me. Or that if he asks for my number that he's going to court me. Guillible me? Naive? Maybe. But I can't figure out what goes on while the wheels in a guy's mind are turning...

So, let him be. Not that I don't care that someone's probably getting hurt here, but I know this is beyond my powers. If I seem too chatty and Fate decides it's a come-on, that's not my problem anymore. I've done my part said my NO.

Anyway, here are a couple of pics taken at Jumbo Floating Restaurant where I met up with my sisters, brother-in-law and Nonok (sya lang ang may pangalan, dba?) this afternoon. It's my first time (yech, it's just several stones' throw away from BSP!) to step aboard (though I wasn't able to eat since I already had my lunch during class).



I'm actually spending most of my free days here in Taytay, to take care of Nonok so Nanay can rest for a day. No wonder my lovelife's zilch.

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Semi complete na ang aking Christmas shopping. Yehey!

I need only to wrap them up. And since I'm done early, I decided I don't want to just make some paper bags and put the stuff inside. Nor do I want some generic-looking box. Pretending to have some time on my hands, I bought some bright pink britol boards and made ...pillow boxes!

So when bonus time comes, I need only buy presents for my parents, Nonok and myself. Ho ho ho. It is truly liberating to be finished a month ahead, unlike last year when I had to stay up super late to finish wrapping the gifts.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

*Of course, I realize, one is never truly done with Christmas shopping. Halfway through this entry, I remember I need to include a dozen more names in my list.

Phobia

And so it happens once again...

I've unwittingly invited something I don't intend to entertain.

I should have seen this coming, but I chose to bury my head in the sand and pretend it was not what I feared. Now I'm facing it with no other choice but to brave it out and let the Fates have their way.

And I am sorry. In the end, I know there'll be wounds to heal..and they won't be mine.

Pinoy Dream Academy

Nothing to blog about.

I recently survived a nasty bout of cough, colds, and sore throat. Two days after recovering, I am down again with colds. My nose is so stuffed up I sound like Fran Dreischer (The Nanny).

Anyways. Finally was able to watch The Prestige last night. Loving Hugh Jackman as I do, I went home broken-hearted because he died in the end. I sympathized with his character and totally hated Christian Bale. So, even if it's just a movie, I'm screaming "It's so darn unfair!"...

BTW, now that Mich is out of PDA, I don't have much reason to watch PDA anymore. Well, I like Irish, and Ronnie and Yvan. But I figured Mich gives the show some eye candy. What I most like about the girl is her simplicity and her quiet dignity. That even if Ronnie's declaring his admiration, she doesn't act like a love-starved woman on a man-hunt, unlike two of her academates. She might be lacking in vocal prowess (she's an alto, for God's sake, don't let her scream her lungs out trying to reach high notes! Singing isn't just about who has the vocal chords like Mariah Carey!). I think that the judges are unfair in that aspect.

What also became irritating was that Chai got voted out while Rosita, ever the dark horse, was saved by the Teachers despite off-tune singing. Furthermore, she was out of the lowest four, while Irish, who did better despite being ill, landed on the bottom four, along with Mich, Davey and JayR. I've nothing against Rosita, and I'll be the first to admit that the girl is very entertaining, there's no boring moment with her around, but I don't agree with what Jim Paredes said, she internalized what the teachers have taught her, blah blah. I thought they were going to save Chai, being the number 1 in the midterm exams. But Rosita? Wasn't that Moi sighing in exasperation as Rosita failed to properly record her song? I'm not even going to remind who was the lowest scorer on the exams. I think PDA is slowly becoming too masa-protective. Perhaps, they should rename the contest Search for the Next Nora Aunor or something.

I've nothing against Yeng (well, aside from the fact that she's ugaling kalye and painosenteng malandi - Iyos said she's natural, and normal for an 18ner, I asked her, were you like that at 18? and she couldn't answer), she's talented, but what's with the big eyes when she sang You Oughta Know? For Pete's sake, it's not a horror show. Plus she reminds me a lot of Sheryn Regis and I absolutely abhor that girl.

Lastly, like Liezle, I like Ronnie. The guy is a looker. Plus he's a real nice guy when it comes to Mich. I do like screen romances, even if it's not real. At least the pair isn't as syrupy as Iya and JayR or Yeng and RJ.

I'm venting it out here coz PDA site (unofficial version) has been down for two days now.