Misery Level: 1

It's been a long while. Blogging has become an off-on thing. It has taken a backseat to Ebay, Multiply and my newest discovery - Facebook (I just usually play Farmtown). Plus, being a full-time mom, full-time wife and full-time employee (in that order, please!), I usually have just enough minutes in my hand for a quickie (not that sort, you pervert!) internet surfing.

I don't want to sound miserable, because I am not. Plus, ever since I got married and had a son, my usually "emo" self has died. Sure, I still get emotional and a cry-baby, particulary when Jam and I have our little oofffss and arrrgghhhs (what woman doesn't?), but I have learned to steel myself and have become a little stronger, emotionally.

That "emotionally stronger" was tested last night. Update on dad: Mom and I rushed him to St. Lukes last Tuesday night after hours of diarrhea and vomiting. For days now, he had been restless due to leg pains and lack of appetite. So we naturally worried he'd get dehydrated. Dad's hard-headed and we're grateful that he finally agreed to be brought to the hospital because, as it turned out, his kidneys are taking the strain because he is severely dehydrated.

Last night, a tube was inserted in his neck, through a vein and to his heart (if I understood what the doctor said...) to monitor his (de)hydration level and to put some liquids into him (beside that IV line). It wasn't a particularly pretty sight. It was done under local anesthesia and just seeing the looooooong needles, tubes and surgery stuff...Mom, Jam and Kuya Jing had to leave the room. Only Ate and I (hurrah to the "operadas"/CS moms) had the stomach to watch dad endure the procedure. It wasn't a bloody scene, and on my scale of grossiness, doesn't even come to 1. But of course, it's enough to make me wince and mutter a series of Hail Marys and Our Fathers. Seeing gross is one thing. Witnessing pain is another thing. But after the procedure, I believe it seem more painful that it really was.

He is now (as in this very moment) undergoing dialysis. His creatinine level was so high because he couldn't pee so they had to remove toxins out of his body. I cringe when I think of the stuff dad has to endure. And part of me, even that part that said I am no longer the "emo", wants to write down my misery just to vent out.my grief. But I try to turn my back to it. He isn't gone yet and I will not write eulogies for the living.

Mommy Files

I'm on to a new blog...naks, parang active mag post. hehe. It's my Mommy Blog. So far, all I have are breastfeeding tales.

But all I can say is..."Grabe! Kaka-addict ang maging mommy!"

Being a mom is more than having a full-time job. It's a vocation. It's a passion. It's an addiction and a skill and a calling.

Being a mom has made me do a lot of things I thought I will never ever do...like taste my own milk, forego trips and travel opportunities, buy expensive stuff (just how much baby things costs, you'd never guess unless you've been there, done that...) and wake up several times in the middle of the night to feed someone.

I love being a mom. Obvious ba?