The problem with me...

Is that I cannot think past the present, past the NOW, and see how hurt I'll end up tomorrow.
I forgive so easily, my resolves so quickly forgotten.

I cannot leave him. Cannot turn my back on someone who needs me. Cannot deny him my shoulder, my sympathy, my attention. Even when it means drowning in sorrow that is not mine.

I've had an easy life. I've never known pain the way some people have. My fortune has been good, and though Fate often plays mean jokes on me, I've bounced back easily, and I've never been deeply wounded.

I give too easily, and I give all. If I hold back, it is with my commitment, but not on my feelings.
I seem too strong, and the weak flock to me. But I am not that strong. Am not that wise. I only have enough that soon I'll run out.

I told a friend last week that one shouldn't go into a relationship expecting the other to change for the better. One shouldn't dream of picking a wild oat and planting it in a backyard lot and expect it to grow. One shouldn't choose a needy person hoping you have enough happiness for both of you.

I'm reminded of the word "burden bearer". Perhaps, I am this.

I want to ask him...questions. But now is not the right time. And I may not be the right person. There may never be a right moment.

He needs me, is all I know. But is it enough for me to feel needed?