Questions...

Have you ever wanted something you don't really intend to keep?
Have you ever reached for something and when it's within your grasp, you realize it's not what you wanted all along?
Have you ever dreamed of something and then got scared when it slowly materializes?
Have you ever ran a race for a goal and suddenly wanted to run backwards and lose?

It seems that lately, I've been building a sandcastle. I know it's not for keeps, and I know it's just that, a sandcastle...I have doubted I could build it, now, the sandcastle is taking shape. And I have mixed feelings about finishing it because I know the tides will just wash it away again anyway...and I know I can't take it with me. I know the sandcastle belongs to no one, and I have no one to show it to, as well. And it's not for a sense of fulfilment, but just the thrill. Was it a waste of time? Am I foolish to doubt myself now that it's here?

And then, as always, there's this "come-here-go-away" me. I am flame. I didn't mean to invite the moth, but my ego flirted with it and now, it's too near and I won't have it burned. It's never my intention to hurt anyone, but I can't turn moth away either. How can I tell it to stay a distance from my flame?