Realizations

So we're slowly trudging forward..one foot at a time, trying to reach a destination we have no idea how far. Some days are hard, some...miraculously spent uneventful. We're happy just being together, at home eating banana cue and turon or oatmeal and bread, or sitting beside each other comfortably. Three days in a week are all we've got, and it's never enough.

We plan for the future..a wedding, a family. I share his pain when it attacks. I feel his desperation when he loses hope. I try to rub off on him my faith and my new-found patience. I am more like a mother and a bestfriend than his girlfriend, and it is okay. For someone younger than I am, he has seen and experienced more of the world than I ever would...than I even would like to see. We are so alike, and yet our pasts bear not much resemblance to each other.

It isn't all sunny or happy ever afters. Sometimes, I still do get that fear that we'd wake up and discover it's just a phase in life we all go through. Friends say don't rush, take your time, be sure. But nothing is ever sure, even if you've been in a relationship for a year or two or three or a decade. My own parents had a whirlwind romance - they met in March, got engaged in July and was wed in October.

I'm not rushing because of my age...but because I know where we're headed. It won't be such an easy sailing, but a rough ride. But hey....that's what makes life worth living.