Live…at Channel 4

July 3. It’s my first time to join the BS Singers for the anniversary ceremony since, usually, the EISG people would be at the lobby busily scrambling about and around the MPSS kiosk. In fairness, everything went smoothly and I had no major contribution save for a PowerPoint presentation assigned to me.

July 4. Live on Channel 4. Sang the Pambansang Awit and an intermission number “Umiikot, Sumisirko” (by Ryan Cayabyan, under the tutelage of our musical director, Dr. Raul Navarro). First time. And of course, I just have to inform my parents and several friends about it. My mom was able to see it. XBF? Am not sure if he even received my message. Not even a word about it from him.

July 7. Eone’s first birthday party at Bounz. I had grand visions of bringing the “One” to the event, if he’ll ever ever make it. But of course, as Fate would have it, he did not make it. And I am tired of getting excited about his homecoming. Now, it seems I don’t even want to bother anymore. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to prepare myself. What for? He might not even want to see me and talk to me anymore. I have erased all expectations, right?

Seriously, tomorrow is the “day of reckoning”. Judgment day. Make or Break. And for now, it’s really a break. Thinking of all the opportunities that I gave him that he let pass…I can’t imagine going through more of those. I just want him to be attentive…never mind if he can’t be always present. I’ve decided that I do deserve someone better, and maybe, if he wants it as badly as I do, he’d see that, too.